Finding A Way

I’ve  previously stated in this very blog that I don’t fall over that much. I think it was when I talked about going on my hole running for the bus a few weeks back. I fell over again today when I was getting out of the shower. This fall has been my most traumatic so far for several different reasons.

My Mam got us one of those waterproof radios for the shower it’s fucking class but in hindsight will probably be the death of me. I was in the shower jiving to Mustang Sally and as I go to get out I clip my foot on the shower door and go flying into the cabinet that keep all my sisters perfume and smelly shit. My sisters Beyonce perfume smashes and and while I was whiping it up I somehow managed to get it all over me. So I smell like a 14 year old fan girl today. Stall to my gaff and I’ll woo you haha.  I felt like a right dickhead until my brother came home after spending 89 euro on a sweatshirt. GOOMBAH

It was bothering me why I fell over and I think it’s unfair to blame my latest spill on the new shower radio. I think I fall over in times of high stress. I’m up to my eyes this week in college, I have an essay due tomorrow thats a week late, I’m smash hits for cash and I don’t want to work anymore. I think this is the reason I fell over and not that I was dancing around like a freak on a dangerously slippy surface.

Two cans of Diet Coke for a euro in Spar are saving my life at the moment.

I’m sitting in the IT building here in UCD writing an essay. I’m sitting beside a large window that spans the whole wall, so it’s like sitting in a glass room. I generally spend most of my time looking at passers by and noticing weird shit about them. This one lad was wearing a suit and these hilarious jelly sandal things. He looked like he was having a good time though.

The reason for this post is because there was this girl sitting a few points down from me who kept making phonecalls complaining about how much work she had to do and all that bullshit. Me and my mate Jack were getting pissed off and when she left we gave each other a high five. As shes leaving she gets a phonecall and we can hear her talking all the way through the building and out onto the walkway past our window. The walkway is made of cement slabs about 1 foot by 3 foot. The slabs are years old and loads of them are loose. It’s been pissing raining all day and when Miss Mobile Phone steps on one of them her foot sinks right in and water splashes all over her valure tracksuit.

I nearly broke down, it was kind of shitty because a group of lads behind her were just roaring at her but me and Jack both thought it was the best thing in the world. Fucking justice for interrupting our essay writing.

 I hope Tigers Jaw will send out their album already, I’m getting really impatient. I found my Northstar Pollyanna album after like three years. It’s definitely better than anything Taking Back Sunday ever did after Tell All Your Friends.

Someone needs to hook me and Dave Doyle up with Twinkies.

Stay up.

When I worked in Burdocks, we used to write a little message on the note if the customer was a prick. Things like dickhead or fucker. I was getting some breakfast this morning and while I was waiting in the queue to pay I noticed someone had written on my tenner. It said 4/07 Fuck him and his shit. This got me to thinking about who owned the tenner and if anybody else who had come into contact with it had thought like me or was I the first one to get it.

 This wrecked my head for ages and then I realised that if someone had thought anything into what I used to write on notes and if there was any greater meaning behind it I would’ve laughed my ass off because it was just some lad giving me jip about salt and vinegar. So maybe someone was annoying this person about salt and vinegar or maybe plastic bags. I could imagine that being annoying when working in a newsagents.

 Vending machines piss me off. Especially ones that you go to regularly and develope a taste for a certain bar or crisp in it. Well anytime I get into a mode they fucking change the selection. I know I could just go to the shop but that’s not the point is it?

I was told to listen to Scrubious Pip by a sketchy source and it isn’t bad.

My Dad is a good lad. He doesn’t drink or smoke, he just drinks coffee and eats eclairs. I take him for granted alot of the time because I realise that alot of the time my most enjoyable moments are with my auld fella. For example he has ridiculous opinions about things, I said the other week that Ireland are looking decent enough in the football and he was like “yeah they’d be better with that Ireland young lad but he won’t come back because he thinks everybody is laughing at him”, for everyone else reading this they probably heard about this in the news but for me and my brother stories like this from my Dad are hilarious basically because he’s even more ridiculous than Stephen Ireland’s haircut.

I’ve sat down to watch Match of the Day hundreds and hundreds of times with my Dad, never once has he stayed awake for the duration. He’ll always last the first game but he’ll begin to drift halfway through the second game. This is not to do with his lack of enthusiasm for football, it has to do with his inability to stay awake when he is not standing. It’s probably some syndrome but it’s hilarious. He’s fallen asleep in lots of amazing situations like Madison Square Garden during a basketball game and one time he fell asleep during a parent teacher meeting. My Ma told me this but he denied it. The reason I decided to write about my Dad is because he tells me these little snippets of information that may or may not be true.

These snippets come as add ons or subsiduaries to conversations we’ll already be having. Today he was giving me a lift into UCD and we got to talking about the US elections. We were talking about the elections and he goes. “The boys are after finding that younglads myspace or bebop (I know) page and guess what it said Zacher?” ” What Dad?” “I fucking hate kids”. He thought this was gas, it took me a while to figure out what was going on and I realised he was talking about the young lad who got Palin’s daughter preggers, this may or may not be true but it’s gas because my Dad loves that shit. It also got me to thinking who are the boys? This is textbook Myles.

The new Shank is really good and so is Turpentine Chaser by Dashboard. I feel like I’m 15 again.