Finding A Way

Around this time last year I actively decided to distance myself a little bit from people I went to school with. In doing so I have become far more understanding of stuff outside of the bubble I thought was so important. I think that I decided that it was time to grow up and move away from people that think there is something weird with not going to nightclubs every Wednesday and Thursday night. In doing so I’ve lost contact a little bit with two of my closest friends. These weren’t the people I intended to break away from but in a short space of time I made many new friends. When I was growing up I was always involved with school and Rugby and all that shite but I had interests in music and other unrelated stuff which sort of saved me a little bit. One of them is moving to Australia for good Sunday week. His reasons for moving so far away are probably the most valid reasons someone could have for wanting a break. After we finished school his rugby finished and College didn’t really agree with him. He was adopted to two really really nice people down the road from me along with another little girl who I think is four or five years younger than he is.

He is one of the most easy going and relaxed dudes I have ever met but his adopted sister was always a little bit of hard work. About 6 or 7 weeks ago I met him in town and he told me about his plans to move to Australia. At the time I thought it was a strange thing to move so far a way from a cushty house. The same day or the day after meeting him in town I was walking through temple bar on my way home from work and I saw this big scuffle involving aload of junkies. At closer look one of them was his sister. This was a pretty big shock for me I have to say. I have been so caught up in the last year being busy with bands and work that I have neglected someone who was always there for me. And although I don’t really believe in regrets I would like to have done things a tiny bit differently.

This year I plan to keep in touch as much as possible with him while he is away. I also hope to stay off the cigarettes which have been going pretty well so far. And to eat more delicious sugar filled cereal. Lucky Charms Christmas Edition are coming my way from Boston next week.

Dashboard Confessional are one of those bands for me that no matter what they release I will try to like it no matter how bad it is. I know this is ridiculous but when i first heard this band it just was what I wanted to hear. I’m glad to say that I don;t have to try to like the new album. They’ve ditched that roppy pop rock electric sound and it’s back to the first two releases. Nostalgiacity and AWESOMENESS.

Current Beverage: Sprite 50% extra free.

Current Sweets: The maltesers out of a giant tin of Celebrations.

I think Christmas is class. It makes me grateful for certain things that I definitely take for granted all the time.

The weird thing about Christmas though is that it heightens your awareness to certain things in life that you wouldn’t necessarily notice otherwise. I notice the horrible situations some people find themselves in due to lack of forsight, bad luck or little education. And it makes me sad that with all the things I’ve been shown and educated to do I can’t help any of them in the long term because the damage is done.

I was having dinner with my parents here earlier on. And I noticed a dude eating on his own. Normally this wouldn’t have even attracted my attention, but me being sentimental and all these days I began to think why this dude was eating on his own. For all I know the guy was just rewarding himself for a hard days present buying, but it got me thinking about the importance of having a network of people around you to prop you up and keep the ball rolling.

Christmas is class. Whether people think it is class because of the birth of Jesus or the birth of mass consumerism I don’t care. I don’t care because beyond all the arguments it gives me perspective and it is my favourite time of year. Also presents rule to the extent of no other thing on earth.

Current Mood: Watching my new HDTV and thinking about shit.

Current Foodage: Some fancy Marks and Spencers tortillas. (AWESOME)

Drinks: Keeping it real with fully Caffeinated Diet Coke.

Happy Christmas.

I had to work an extra hour and a half tonight. So I worked until half 12. Instead of felling pissed off or annoyed about the whole situation I actuall fell strangely relieved. I work in the stock room of Topman in Jervis Street. Apparently it’s in the top 5 busiest Topman/Topshop stores in the UK. Whether this is true or not, it is fucking busy. I basically work 9 - 1 shifts before I go out to College. But because of the Christmas rush I have to do sale prep and organise my part of the stock room.

I deal with the accessories part of the shop, which is hats, gloves, boxers socks etc etc. So it gets messy and stressful. I’m back in in the morning at 11ish but I don’t mind because I’m actually getting shit done. I’ve been working there since around March I think, just as a part-time job to give me spends. As I had to pay for college repeats I decided to work more hours. I have the college fees paid off and this is 100% AWESOME. It means that I can buy loads of class shit for me and for Olivia and my family for Christmas.

I think Christmas is about the thought and not the quantity of what you get but it helps when you are not restricted in buying presents by cashflow.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it is good to treat yourself to nice shit on occasion so i bought a new pair of runners which have opened my eyes to life in general. For years I;ve been wearing vans with little support. Although they’re are class and I’ll still wear them they have nothing on these beasts.

It feels as if I’m walking on air. Life is good at the moment. I was thinking about the whole social welfare argument thing last night and just thinking whether I would be more relaxed if I didn;t work or go to College and I think that in order for me to be happy I have to be busy. I find it rewarding as perverse as that sounds, different strokes for different folks though.

The last couple of days have been devoted to Daggermouth and these bastardized Snowballs/ Marshmallowy creamy shit 100% veg biscuity cakes from Anne’s bakery on Henry Street, GET INTO THEM.

First of all they fuck over my boy Mac Kell and now they pull this shit. Ages ago I went into the Gamestop in Stephen’s Green to enquire  about   trading in my PSP. I bought the console in America last year and never play it, so I was thinking I’d trade it in and get xbox  games or accessories  or whatever. So I go up again on Monday and the dude goes ” Yeah cool you’ll get 150 store credit for all your stuff all you need to do is bring us in a plug adapter”. Grand, so I go in today ready to trade in for Call of Duty 4 and Assassins Creed, only to be told that they don’t trade it in because it is American. This was the Liffey Street gamestop so I get him to ring Stephen’s Green to see what the story is. Dude says that noone ever told me I would get a trade in and if they did they were a Christmas temp. Fuck sake. So i went up to GAME and bought the new Smackdown versus Raw for 35 quid, not bad.

Also get into Lifetime. They are a band I’ve liked for a couple of years now, but they didn’t really click with me until their new record. The new album is out on Fueled by Ramen and is pretty widely available on the internet I’d reckon. If you haven’t listened to Lifetime before get that or Jersey’s Best Dancers which is my favourite at the moment. People reckon Hello Bastards…. is the best record and although it is class it doesn’t come near Jerseys…..

I had a really good day today, finished my Christmas shopping and ate some delicious pie with Macker. Lee Browne’s new kicks are sweet and pimping. Enchanted is class. Mainly because the lead bird was in an episode in Smallville series one where the vegetables she has been using for diet shakes had been affected by Kryptonite and she turns into a flesh sucking psychopath. Awesome.

Current Mood : Excited for present giving and receiving. Slightly worried whether Olivia will like hers because I’ll know by her reaction.

Drinking Pepsi Max, not bad.

So this time next week I’ll be no doubt doing something involving presents, which is exciting. However between now and then I’ve go a bunch of shit to do which is causing some stress.

1. I have a film studies exam tomorrow, which I should do okay in. It’s two questions and I’m fairly well up on the subjects…. I hope. I’ll have to pull a bit of an allnighter tonight.

2. I have to finish off buying Christmas presents, I thought I was way more organised than I actually am. Is it just me or are mothers the hardest people in the world to buy for??? I’m at a complete fucking loss.

3. I have to record Find A Way vocals this weekend, which will be fun but a bit stressful to get it done for the Black Friday 29 show. Really excited for this show, I think there will be a really really god atmosphere in Doran’s.

4.Work……. I’ve been out of work for the past week with “bruised ribs”, I don’t think they are bruised, just weird chest pains when I extensively use my left arm. It’s way better now, so I probably just pulled something. Work will not be fun seeing as though people turn into crazies for the run up to Christmas. I was in with Macker yesterday and I couldn’t believe how busy HMV was on a monday afternoon. I thought I was being smart going in to buy my Xbox but the joke was on me.

Reading back over those things they don’t seem so bad, once the exam is over I suppose.

I watched The Life of David Gale last night so I could compare it to one of the movies on my course. Olivia brought it over so I was excited to watch it. I’ve always heard really good reports about it and that there is a whopper twist at the end, I have to say I was left a little bit disappointed. Spacey was class but other than that the film lacked alot of pace.

I’ve been listening to The Get-up Kids for the first time in ages , that Coalesce thread reminded me to. Campire Kansas is one of my forgotten favourite tunes. Awesome.

Also 7up free is delicious, I’ve never been a fan of lemonade in general but it’s seriously the business. It reminds me of Mountain Dew which is the drink of kings.

People are freaking out at the moment about the cocaine problem in Ireland because this bird died. Although there is definitely a huge problem with cocaine abuse in this country, it’s hilarious how it takes a model or high profile celebrity to die in order to increase awareness.

This is a problem with Irish society that I have noticed for the last few years. People love to follow trends and are afraid to  have different opinions to their friends when it comes to alcohol and drug use. Although this is a massive generalisation, just look at where I come from.

Around by me the Katy French’s of this world are all the young girls adhere to be. They want fake tits, designer clothes and a job that allows them to fraternise in nightclubs 6 -7 nights a week. From an early age people decide to follow and buy into this stereotype. It starts with binge drinking in fields wearing Ugg boots and no underwear before a school disco to lying face down on the floor of a nightclub toilet after taking a cocaine overdose.

How has this happened?? I blame the society of Ireland that glorifies rugby culture. To make 17 year old lads heroes in their area is fucking ridiculous. When I played senior rugby for my school, I didn’t have to pay for a drink in any of the local pubs and I was given free rugby gear and shit like that. This is bullshit and it’s getting worse.

I was talking to this guy about “the problem” in college last week, and he was like “oh she must have gotten bad stuff”. I mean for fuck sake get a fucking clue.

Current Mood - In disbelief at the stupidity of dopes.

Current Listening - Lifetime ~ Ostrichsized

Current Beverage - Diet Coke

TIME IT’S ON OUR SIDE, FIND A WAY TO THRIVE.

Steady on now please don’t fall apart, steady on now, steady on now. For so long it was just us, never letting go and never giving up.

They call  the shots, they call the shots for us.

They’ll call the shots and they’ll fucking shoot you.

NEVER AGAIN, NEVER AGAIN.

Never again will I be a crutch. Never again will I be a crutch for you.

Steady on now please don’t fall apart.

Steady on now please don’t fall apart.

Steady on now please don’t fall apart, we took the time and we made a start.

Steady on now please don’t fall apart.

PEOPLE SAY WE HAVE NOTHING FOR REAAAAAL.

PEOPLE SAY WE HAVE NOTHING FOR REAAAAAL.

IN OUR EYES

YOU CAN SEE

WHAT THIS TOWN

MEANS TO ME

Don’t take this for granted. It’s what we have.

Last year was so shitty, in this fucking city. Trying so hard to get by, searching for the reason why. But I don’t know how I got here. But I, I’m sure glad I found it.

WE’RE NOTHING WITHOUT YOU.

WE’RE NOTHING WITHOUT THE THINGS THAT BIND US AND SET US APART.

Taking time for your fucking lies, I AM DECIDING. I AM DECIDING.

TAKE THIS TO MEMORY - - YOU’LL NEVER KNOW HOW IT FEELS.

So I’m going to use this blog primarily for Find A Way lyrics and for little rambles and rants about shit that annoys me or makes me happy. Class.